BRIA’S OWN WORDS…

sigh.

It was nice while it laste, oh whom am I kidding??

I knew were pretty much a wrap, after about a month and a half. I’ve written a little about my ‘episode’…yeah, I guess that what i’d refer to it as…an episode on my other blog U Betta Recognize but I just can’t get over how in looking back over my life…I (for some reason) attract men who are nicely wrapped (like a wonderful Xmas present), but ends up having serious issues.

what. the.hell.

LIAR

(Lying by omission, is STILL LYING…cuz I ALWAYS ASK the RIGHT QUESTIONS!!)

CHEATER (TO ME FLIRTING IS CHEATING, AND WHAT??)

MENTALLY ILL

ISSUES ISSUES ISSUES

I’m trying to remain encouraged, but the last episode (mentally ill) included a nice, chivalrous (despite his MANY ISSUES he NEVER failed to open/close my door) older gentleman of 48. He was well-mannered, nice in appearance but something about him just seemed off. I just chalked it up to him being (forgive me if offend anyone), a nerd. Where I have book/street smarts, he simply had book smarts. I admit it was very attractive…but he was just plain awkward. That’s the only I can describe it. Awkward to the point of being plum embarrassing! For example, upon meeting new people he’d break the ice with a joke. Then another joke, and then another joke, and then anoth-, well u get the idea. When I introduced him to my mother, because he didn’t know what to say-HE HUGGED HER.

My mother was like what.the.hell.

That wasn’t the worse part. sigh. When he spoke he pontificated, and I don’t mean as a Bishop, either. This man spoke incessantly for at least 8 minutes. How do I know?? I TIMED HIM! I live in an apartment on the 2nd flr, right? Well knowing he would still be rambling if I put the phone down, I’d go downstairs to my car, come back up, get something to drink, use the bathroom, wash my hands, and pick up my cell and HE’D STILL BE CHATTERING AWAY… smh Then what results is that I have now become soooo incensed at his arrogrance and lack of courtesy for the OTHER PERSON ON THE PHONE…ME-that I would butt in and tell him how rude and selfish his behavior was and that I did not appreciate being held hostage. After consistently being the inactive party in a dialogue, his words just ran together and began to sound like:

I then resorted to holding conversations via text messaging. That way i can choose what to read, he was a itty texter, and I didn’t have to hear his voice.

Yes, i was developing some issues.

But the mentally ill part came in that for the first 2 wks we had met…it was beautiful-poetry, cards etc. He was happy.

Around the 16th day, I noticed he ALWAYS complained. He complained about his life, but he always lived in the past. He had lost his career after 9/11 as an engineer and never made the $$$ since that time. Well many people were affected, and didn’t sit around feeling sorry for themselves. They made lemon out of lemonade. I’d give him biblical scriptures to encourage him-but after about the 4th day I was getting upset.

IMO it seems he wanted me to do the work for him. He wanted me to have the answers for his life. No thanks, I have my own and my children’s to deal with thank you.

It was soon after that, that I noticed that he used manipulative tactics. For instance, I do not want to hear about females from my man’s past. I just don’t. So he would say, here check my phone (knowing I’m nosy) and lo and behold-there was a females number in his call history! It didn’t take long to realize that he derived some type of perverse pleasure when I would ‘tripp’

Also bcuz he had never ‘been in the streets’ he was very condescending and unsympathetic towards people who were down on their luck (nevermind that accdg to him HE was down on his luck, and was depressing at least 5/7 days a week!)

what.the.hell

It grew to the point that the relationship episode had become tiring. In two short months, I was now certifiably miserable.

When the time came to “have the talk,” I let D.J. (not his real initials) know the relationshi episode was not progressing. I am not going to make u happy, while I’m chronically miserable, it’s a wrap. Lights out.

When D.J. expressed his feelings, he said he would do better–but shoot he had been saying that for 1.5 mos now. When he saw i was unmoved, he played the mutha of ALL CARDS.

The SUICIDE card.

U MUST BE KIDDING ME?!

Keeping in mind that I have had 3 FRIENDS/ASSOCIATES in my life commit suicide, and my son’s 14 y/o classmate was found hanging by his own hand last year-I DO NOT PLAY, OK?

Anyhooo…knowing D.J., was a coward (and he is proud of that fact) I called his bluff. I asked him if he were going to take pills, when did he plan to commit the act, and if he went thru w-it write his mom/bro letters saying it’s not their fault.

He said he was going to commit suicide that night, and when “they” (people) come to me and ask WHY I (Bria) allowed it to happen, I’ll have to deal with it.

I told him I know how depressing he was, his mama, and his bro knew too. Nobody would come to me, and if they did-my conscious was clear. And he had the wrong sista cuz I don’t give into to emotional blackmail!

Short story long- he did not commit suicide. I drove up to his car the next day-and said I was praying for him. (I actually need to that-I haven’t cuz I was toooo outdone! smh)

The little respect I had for him quickly fizzled out.

He did text me recently, asking for a reconciliation (seriously)

Ohh hellllz to the nizzzawwll!

I do wish him the best.

Honestly…I give up on relationships.

Historically, it seems as soon as I am happy to be in a relationship the ugliness rears its ugly head, and the relationship is virtually over.

sigh

pray for me, fam.

From People.com

PEOPLE has your first look at Nicole Richie and her daughter Harlow, born Jan. 11 in L.A. Richie, 26, and her boyfriend Joel Madden, 28, open up to PEOPLE about how parenthood has changed their lives – and the happy couple pose for an exclusive family photo album with their daughter (the latest issue of PEOPLE is on newsstands Friday). Says Richie of life with Harlow: “She gives life a whole new meaning and a whole new purpose.”

***

I must agree, having a baby can definitely shift your priorities…it’s when those rascals become teens-u start wanting learn how to create cement shoes! lol

Congratulations to the new parents-Nicole looks great!

 Cruisin’ thru my girl Iriegal’s blog, DarkChild, I came across some pics that are a blast from Obama’s past.  Lovin’ it.  It’s hard to believe his DNA has two extremes…a white American mother, a black African grandmother-straight from the motherland.

Family Pictures of Obama

Barack Obama as a toddler. (Courtesy of Barack Obama)

Barack Obama as a child. (Courtesy of Barack Obama)

Barack Obama as a young boy. (Courtesy of Barack Obama)

The wedding day of Barack Obama Jr. and Michelle LaVaughn Robinson. (Courtesy of the Obama Family)

Barack Obama with his maternal grandparents, Stanley and Madelyn Dunham during a 1982 visit to New York, where Obama was attending Columbia. (Courtesy of The Obama Family)

Barack Obama walks with his grandmother Sarah Hussein Obama at his father’s house in Nyongoma Kogelo village, western Kenya, in Aug. 2006. (AP file)

Barack Obama with his grandmother, Sarah Hussein Obama, in Africa (Courtesy)

In this Obama Family photo ares: (bottom row, from left) half-sister Auma, her mother Kezia Obama, Obama’s step-grandmother Sarah Hussein Onyango Obama and unknown; (top row, from left) unknown, Barack Obama, half-brother Abongo (Roy) Obama, and three unknowns. (Courtesy of the Obama Family)

Maya Soetoro-Ng, Barack Obama’s half-sister, with her husband, Konrad Ng, and their daughter, Suhaila.

I love it, I love it!

 Anyone who knows me, know I don’t roll with Oprah like this (posting from her site).  I found this info at CNN, and it was interesting.

I just want to know:

After reading this-WHAT KIND OF MAN IS LEFT???? 

 (Oprah.com) — One guy is needier than quicksand. Another is jealous of your cocker spaniel. A third quietly hates all womankind. Here’s a list of men you should put in your rearview mirror, ASAP.

Certain clues in the way a man acts may be a hint that you need to ditch him.

Joe No-Show
You meet in a city where neither of you lives, at a convention or a wedding. The calls and e-mails are making the phone lines sweat; two months later, he’s begging you to visit.

You tell the woman next to you on the plane that, after years of searching, you think you’ve met The One, and the two of you giggle with anticipation all the way to baggage claim.

Thirty minutes later, when the carousel stops going around, she looks at you with deep pity and asks if she can give you a ride somewhere. That’s the moment to go straight back to the ticket counter.

Mr. Jealousy
At first, he’ll get a little short with a waiter who flirts with you. Then he’ll be exasperated by how long you and the postmaster discuss the rising price of stamps. When he points out that you and your brother hug too long to be appropriate or that your gynecologist is a lesbian and obviously has the hots for you, it’s time to give him his walking papers.

However flattering his jealousies may seem in the first five minutes of your relationship, they’ll get old and confining more quickly than you can imagine, and when you do finally break up with him, he will hang the scarves you left behind on your trees like nooses and follow you and the next man you date all over town.

The Bully
This is the man who sits you down, grabs your arm, pulls your hair, or pokes your chest. While most of us know better than to let ourselves get socked in the mouth the way Ralph Kramden was always threatening to do to Alice (but even then never following through), there’s a whole universe of more “minor” infractions in the violence department that should disqualify your new beau instantaneously (but all too often does not).

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The Two-Timer
For the first time since you’ve been dating, he’s too sick to make a date. You try to ignore the fact that it happens to be your birthday, and you assemble the ingredients for your famous chicken soup. You drop it off inside his door.

Two days later, he’s still sick, but you’ve been invited over. You ask if you can heat up some soup for him, and he says, in a small, congested voice, “That would be wonderful.” You pour the soup from the Tupperware into the pot, and you see that there are mushrooms in it. Your famous chicken soup doesn’t contain mushrooms. Conclude that this man has another source of soup and will continue to cheat on you for as long as you give him the chance.

The “Liberated” Man
I used to have a friend who said, “I seem to have a very liberating effect on whatever man I’m dating. We go on three dates, and the next thing I know he’s moved in with me, he’s quit his job, and his car is up on blocks in my yard.”

Certain men are more prone to this type of liberation than others, I have found: Carpenters, river guides, and flamenco guitarists all fall into the category of men who are perfectly willing to hand themselves over to the care of a good woman, as well as visual artists, stage performers, and racers (ski, bike, boat) of all kinds.

The Betrayed
I seem to have dated an inordinate number of men who have just been left by a woman for a woman. In general, these men are angry beyond all reason, no matter to what lengths they may go to disguise it, and if you date one, be ready to give up all your girlfriends, or you will be accused of being a lesbian, too.

The Narcissist
He doesn’t like your dog? Do we even need to talk about this one? Put it at the top of the category that includes he won’t make eye contact with your kid, he doesn’t want to meet your sister, and he whines the first time you make plans with your girlfriend.

A man threatened by the love you have for the dog you sleep with is going to be threatened by more things than you can name. Dating him is inviting the type of conflict into your life that will make you tired before you even get up in the morning.

Mr. Resentment
Pay close attention to how he handles your accomplishments. If you get a promotion with a raise and he breaks it down to show you how it really only amounts to six dollars a day after taxes, that’s the first strike. When he uses any expression like “your little project,” count that as two.

Just because men are having a hard time adjusting to the idea that women are capable breadwinners doesn’t mean you have to martyr yourself into helping them make the transition. There are men out there who are more than happy to bask in the glow their women cast and to consider your talents a positive reflection on them.

The Virtual Lover
What a relief it is when a man doesn’t try to force you into bed on the first date. How charmed you are when, on the third date, he says he wants to wait until “you both can’t stand it anymore.” How sympathetic you become when, on the sixth date, he tells you how badly he was hurt by your predecessor. How confused you are six months later when you’ve realized his pager goes off every time you get naked, but he’s still sending you roses and talking teddy bears.

A surprising number of great romancers out there never get around to having sex. To the date-weary woman, this can seem like not the worst combination, but beware. Eventually he will blame his problems on the smell of your breath or the size of your thighs.

The Guy Who Had the Happiest Childhood This Side of the Beav
His mother was perfect; his father never smoked or drank or cheated. He hates the way his friends blame their parents for everything, when he and his seven brothers and sisters had love pouring down on them from the moment they woke in the morning until they went to bed.

However refreshing this might sound the first time you hear it, listen carefully for a voice that is trying to convince itself, listen for the creak and crack of a personal mythology in the throes of shattering. When it comes crashing to the ground, it’s going to make a very big noise, and most likely your relationship will come crashing down with it.

***

I have nothin to say.  ‘Cept when you’re my age (almost 40) the pickins are super slim.  Just seems ez’er to stay single then to sort thru all of these men with drama.