BRIA’S OWN WORDS…

IDK abt 2mrw but 2day I can’t stop thinking of u.

I sit at my computer, attempting to fixate my thoughts on anything, anyone, anywhere but u.

I can’t.

IDK why it is, that as I sit here pounding my keyboard unmercilessly (thru no fault of its own, mind you) in a moment of stillness-I see u.  R u thinking of me too?

IDK what to do or what to say in order to alleviate myself of this burden on my heart called, ‘You.’

IDK- I think I’ll choose, ‘To Hold on 2 U’ for $200, Alek.  Think about it, I have nothing to lose-except $200 of course, but there’s so much to gain. YOU.  So for now, I’ll hold.  I shall hold on to your ghost, your vapor, your mist, the mere thought-whatever elusive state of matter this is-that will not grant  me the permanence I need from you. This state of matter that has made the decision for me that says, ‘Bria-hold on to what you can of him, WHILE u can.’  And I stupidly obey, because I feel as long as I have a part of you-regardless of quantity…as long as I have a part of you, even in thought or feeling-I’m sated…until the last vapor of you leaves my mind. sigh

IDK…as I write these words surely I sound mad-to a reasonable person, but if I could transplant my heart into your chest cavity, my words would resonate so that you too will feel the pangs of love, and you too would want to scratch away at your chest in a feeble attempt to remove this ache, before it can turn into a full blown onset of pain…or passion.  After every dark cloud is a silver lining…right? Surely this ache can bloom into passion-good shall follow bad?  The question is, am I willing to help write the ending to our story?  You damn right I am-that I know for certain.

IDK, there’s nothing left to do but to toss this ball into your court-and I pass you the spatula to mix in your ingredients for a success life together.

IDK where we go from here, but that which I do know is this:  I WON’T go there without you.

miss you P.O.,

Bree