BRIA’S OWN WORDS…

I’m realllly getting fed up with the quality of men I’m meeting , i’ve met but who are now relegated in my life as ‘formers’, ‘exes’. They view me as their ‘fallback’-you know, if it’s a quiet night cuz their girls are doing their thang…or let’s say they have nothin better to do..they’ll have an epiphany and call me. Or they’ve ended a relationship…so now I’m receiving texts and phone calls from them. Bottom line…i have nothing else better to do-let me call bree! okkkkkk

Admittedly, during my times of vulnerability and being forever a *closet* romantic there have been times when I’ve backtracked and attempted to finish what we started-to no avail. I have on occasion hoped against hope that maybe this time we’ll get it right. Haaaaa!

Case in point:

My first love. Wow…i fell for the rascal hook-line-and sinker at a Jehovah’s Witness convention when i was 15. YEAH, YEAH I was a J.W. but I digress. Jordan was all I could have wished for, he was:

• slightly older
• employed
• had his own car

and

• was very respectful

Jordan faithfully picked me up at my bus stop in high school, we went to baseball games, basketball games etc etc….until he broke my heart. I mean I gave my virtue to him when I was 16-I mean, I thought I was going to marry him-until he broke my heart at 17. Sooo a couple of years pass and at 20 yrs of age we reunite-I get pregnant (pregnancy was terminated) and due to immature issues-he broke my heart-again. Even tried again in my 30’s-he didn’t break my heart this time because by then I guarded my heart. He has never loved me the way I loved him and he never will be able to. So why does he keep telling me he loves me when I KNOW he’s selfish and a liar?? This isn’t news to him-cuz when I catch in said untruth, I call him on the carpet. I’m not being mean…it’s just fact. I mean he’s shown me that consistently for 25yrs. But you want to marry me *scoff* yeah ok.

‘Nother case in point:

Guy #2 and I dated 3-4 yrs ago…calls me during his dry spells. We had GREAT chemistry during our dating season. Wherever we were, laughter was sure to follow, his kids loved me and I loved them yada yada yada…the problem?? His ego. Attention from ONE WOMAN was/is not enuf for him. We went our separate ways, but have maintained contact thru the occasional email, or phone call. Recently (last 30 days) he called me and we met up at the DIA (Detroit Institute of Arts) and had a hilarious time! I’m serious-there were laughs after laughs after laug ok u get the idea. Feelings that I thought were gone but were simply dormant began to stir up, funny memories were spoken of and then he said he wanted to rekindle a relationship. Sounds nice right? *scoff* Uhhh…no. I asked about his attention-seeking-from-other-women-disease, and he laughed.  Shooooot, I didn’t know i said something funny!  He then said, ‘ok Bree, I do have a problem, ok?’  Uhhh tell me something I didn’t know. I know u have a problem-it’s the same problem u had when were 2gether. And I’m thinking ‘So u’ve never done anything about that?!’  hmmmm…ok.  Well I’m straight on you ok?  And honestly, he doesn’t understand the problem smh.  He doesn’t have to.  I go out with other guys and tell him about it and he gets mad. Whatev, dude.  I told him he can’t be anything but a friend, so why was he trippin’??  Do they even need a reason to tripp?? Where are the brothers who say they want a good strong woman?  I told dude #1, brothas get mad when sistas date out of their race, but what are we to do when the BROTHAS continue to disrespect us?? Don’t we deserve to be treated well??

Why is it that women who DOG men in their relationships, have men who are the most loyal??  but the women who are loyal to their men, are cheated on-disrespected in some type of way??

I don’t know if it’s bcuz I’m 40 but…I’ve made a decision to not limit myself to the ‘brothas’ anymore.

I am open to interracial relationships.  Not bcuz I’m tired of black men (although their ways <those I’ve experienced-not all!> leaves a lot to be desired)

I’m going to weigh my options, and if anotha-’brotha’-of-anotha-cola wants to holla at me…I’m going to see what’s up.

I’m not one of those A.B.W (angry black women) who get mad, tripp out, cuss out black men who date women who aren’t black.  I could care less-do you boo.

By that same virtue-I’m going to do me.  

I’ve lived long enuf to know that one man’s trash (i’m not trash-u know what i mean! Come on, relax) is another man’s treasure.  I will not settled until I am treasured.

What my brothas won’t do- someone else will.